Sunday, December 31, 2006
~ 1:20 AM ~
the beginning of the end ... put down all the unhappiness and carry on with ur road ... 2006 ... a very complicated year ... a year which makes me realise alot of things ... realise tat i dun really know myself at all ... wat kind of person i really am ... suddenly feel as if i'm a stranger to myself .........
tired ....
helpless ....
confused ....
miserable ....
i feel no energy in me .........
Friday, December 29, 2006
~ 2:35 AM ~
so many days didnt update liao ... as in i dunno wat to write and how to start ... tired as always, but i think there's a need to update ... have any1 thought of wat's the meaning to live ? ... dun mistaken tat i feel like committing suicide or watever ... this is a qns in my mind for a very long time ... some ppl say u live to find out the ans to tat qns, some ppl juz simply dun bother ... i cant say tat i'm a optimistic person as i always prepare myself for the worst to come ... and i hate ppl to tell me,"look on the bright side" ... tat person will simply get a wacking from me ... to me, tat sentence is simply juz to console urself or to help u escape from the reality ... i rather to get myself prepared for the worst or think of solution to solve the problem .......
Monday, December 25, 2006
~ 2:38 PM ~
juz return home from ben's house ... lol ... spent my night at his house ... i shld start from where i ended at the latest update ... sat morning, went to the rivervale mall NTUC to prepare the stuffs for the steamboat at around 9am ...reach home at abt 11.30 ... need to do some preparation b4 meeting the Corps. for the movie ..."Death Note 2 : The Last Name" is very nice ... only ppl know how to appreciate will find it nice ...after tat, spent around 1hr in tampines mall shopping b4 going to my house ... we ate and have fun during the steamboat ...a short mahjong session after the steamboat ... ben went home and came back with car ... meanwhile, waiting for ben, me and eric played chinese chess ... LOL ... so cool~ ... i only manage to win him 1 round ... lol ...me, wl, eric and ben went to Blk 401 for supper and pool session at hougang plaza ... here comes the funny part ... wl and eric were force to be the member of the pool shop b4 they can play ... the membercard maker uncle was slping ...we wake him up ... then he open his bag and stop moving ... omg lor, he fall asleep juz like tat lor ... then it takes us like 20mins to get the membership coz he keep fall asleep halfway ( u win liao lor ... like tat also can )...well, tat's for sat and sun morning ...during xmas eve ... we went to town - far east plaza( bcoz ben wanna see tat spin3 gal ) ... lol ... after tat, we went to meet lixin and her frenz ... around 9+ derrick jio us go fisherman village for drink + smoking session ...we took some time to decide and we meet derrick at pasir ris interchange then we took 403 to fisherman village ...we ordered 1 mini barrel for a start ... the kick didnt come as we juz chit chat and drink slowly ... after tat, we "da" 1 mug, 2 mug ... then it starts to show results ... 2/5 went havoc and drunk ... haha ... throughout the celebration, it was funny and fun ... memoriable also ... we separate to 2 cabs and i stayed over at ben house ......
i'm willing to wait for u ... doesnt matter how long it can be .......i dun mind not being the one holding ur hand wherever we go, hugging u to give u the warmth u desire, kissing ur forehead b4 saying good night ...but i will be the one lending u my shoulder when u need it, walking behind u to watch and prevent u from falling, letting u bite when u feel like crying ...my presence might not be important to u ... but ur presence is the most important thing to me ...
Saturday, December 23, 2006
~ 2:14 AM ~
it's a very busy this wk ... wed is my 1st time wake up so early to shop ... lol ... memoriable experience ... and the weather has been nice to us, didnt rain( i think so bah ) tat day ... i spent about 200bucks during the shopping spree ... bought 2 shirts, 1 t-shirt, 1 3/4 pants and 1 black pants + 3/15 stars tat i'm looking for ... all these things r worth ... hahaha~ ... dad say only wear them after CNY ... but he knows i dun care ... =x ... anyway, CNY also not a fashion show, dun really have to wear new clothes de mah ... sometime i juz feel like wear shorts and slipper then take my hongbao and go home ... furthermore, nx yr 1st day of CNY is my bday ... how sad can tat be ?! ... i mean like ppl dun even know it's ur bday lor ... or dun even care to give u another hongbao ... ya lah, i dun celebrate my bday de la ... i mean y for celebrate bday ? it's juz a ordinary day mah ... i dun intend to celebrate my 21st bday ... my frenz r some example ... there's only 1 host and u cant expect to be able to entertain all the guest ... cfm there will be some who will be left out ...
today will be another busy day also ... 8am have to wake up go market with mum and help prepare those steamboat stuffs ... 3pm meet up with the Corp. for "Death Note 2 : The Last Name" sneak preview ... after tat, all will be coming to my house for steamboat ... as for sunday, i think i'll juz camp at home to replenish ... this holiday i've already overspend too much ... need to rest ...
i may not be a rich, handsome and prefect guy ... i dun have anything tat makes me stand out from the rest ... but i have 1 thing tat i'm proud of and i'm sure it will not lose to any1 ....... which is my feelings for u .... i wont say tat i'll love u forever as nth last forever ... but wat i can say is tat, as long as my feeling never changes, u will see the 100% of me ... but if possible, i hope tat i can bring this feeling with me till the day i slp inside the coffin ..................
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
~ 5:13 PM ~
last night went to the "raining BBq" session ... falling sick soon ( feeling so uncomfortable now~ ) ... however, it's quite a wonderful experience though since i haven went for a BBq for quite a long time ... chit chat, play games, laugh out loud and most imptly is to have fun ... ^^ ... this wk is quite a packed wk as there are alot of activities ... shopping, cycling, mahjong and BBq ... also, my bank is gonna dry soon ... and i'm in PES B for NS enlistment ... wonder wat will i kana ? ... lol ...ya, the medical checkup takes a very long time and very time-wasting ...
i need to find the reason to carry on ... tired as i might be, but i'm still searching for that very reasonto keep me alive .......
Sunday, December 17, 2006
~ 2:01 AM ~
juz return from PS ... dun really feel tired bah ... wat's the feeling tat u have when u see the gal u like ?happy ? sad ? confused ? or all of the above ? ... personally, i felt all of the above ... happy, it's bcoz u get to see her ...sad, it's bcoz she's so close but yet so far away ... confused, it's bcoz u dunno whether she felt ur presence or how she feels ... it's juz like mind games ... to win a battle, u need to plot and plan every single step carefully ... 1 wrong step will lead to ur downfall ... as far as i know, i've already made some wrong steps ... and it makes me more confusing than ever ... i juz hope tat i didnt scare her ..........
Saturday, December 16, 2006
~ 3:56 AM ~
been century since i last update my blog ... after some soul-searching, i feel i shld change my bad habits ... juz the prob of where to start and how to start ... having the heart but without the determination is useless ...
have u ever felt tat u like some1 when u met her juz a few times ? ... i have, and tons of time ... it makes me as if that i'm not focus and i need tat some1 desperately ... i dun like tat feeling ... i rather u cut off my love sense or watever ... i rather feel nth ... i dun wanna be like this ... it's juz not me ......................